For the life of me, I do not understand those folks, like me who are retired from the military, who complain about having to choose their clothes each day. I love it-well most of it anyway. I especially love the fact that I can pack lighter for business trips now-than I did several years ago.
Of course, I do have to give credit where credit is due. The reason I enjoy it has to do with the S.O. Slowly but surely, her continuing nagging advice about what to wear has begun to pay dividends. I am starting to get adept at picking out things that go with one another.
However there is one piece of clothing that I still continue to loathe. I hate the tie. Why the hell, almost 10 years into the 21′st century has not the necktie gone the way of the hat? How many men do you see wearing Fedora’s these days? Damn few I can tell you.
The tie has to be the most useless piece of clothing ever invented. Every picture I recall seeing of the future showed folks wearing open necked out fits-so why has that vision not yet come to pass?
I dread the moment each morning I have to put the tie on. Usually because it is preceded by that rather unenjoyable moment when I have to button the collar of my shirt. 15 and 1/2 used to fit. What’s up with that?
My mornings usually go about the same each week day.
Wake up. Turn off alarm and roll over. Fondle S.O. in a half awake, half asleep stupor. Hear “cease and desist” in Japanese, as SHE rolls over and says she wants to go back to sleep.
Finally arise, realizing I cannot put it off any longer. Stumble to the room of rest and then to my makeshift “other bedroom / office”. Fire up the trusty computer. Download in no particular order: porn e-mail, bank transactions, blog feeds. Wrinkle my eyes and get fired up over some idiots person’s unenlightened thoughts. Look at watch and either decided there is, or is not, time to dash of a “Jane , you ignorant slut” style of reply.
Stumble back to the bedroom-and pick out my clothing choices for the day. While dressing, hear the S.O. roll over to remind me: ” You missed a belt loop.”
Damn, feel around the small of my back-she’s right again. Why the hell could she not have been this awake 30 minutes ago? Think how mellow I would have been on the way to work-with a send off present under my belt?
Belt re-threaded, check the mirror and hear these fateful words: ” me wo cheku shite imasu ka? Kite! “( did you check your eyes-come here.”). She checks my eyes to make sure no ‘sleep’ is still there. Glance at watch and rush off to get my shoes from the shoe box.
Every day it is the same.
Which is why I love Fridays. NO TIE!
I really don’t understand why every day cannot be casual- I mean am I am going to sell Donald Trump short today? Or give the State of the Union Address? What the hell am I going to do today that I could not do with a comfortable neck?
Seems to me though that uncomfortableness is prerequisite of fashion these days-even in the military.
For example, over time, it became de-riguer to wear your flight suit all the time when you went to work. When I first started in the business, woe be unto you if you were in a flight suit and were not on the flight schedule.
And, truth be told, I liked it that way. Especially if you have had to wear the damn thing in the summer when you could be wearing short sleeve khakis-or maybe even a golf shirt and jeans on the way home.
However, now it’s woe be unto you if you wore khakis if you did not have to. Like I said, never understood that.
Just like I don’t understand the utility or necessity of ties. Any of you have any ideas why they still remain if favor?